I hate depression. I hate the unpredictability. It is so sneaky. Creeps up in the most bizarre of circumstances, out of nowhere. In my head and heart right now I know that it is all a part of the transition we are in the middle of... moving to a new state, leaving the military, starting a new state, transitioning into the civilian world. It's a lot to process. And while well-meaning people tell me to take it easy, not set my expectations too high right now, and to allow myself to process it all slowly... tell that to the physical aches that come over me in waves. I feel the fatigue in my muscles. Washing over me... feelings of insecurity... doubt... fear... and while I try to combat it with scripture, even sometimes just going to my knees and whispering "Truth... Lord Jesus, shine truth..." and it works... I feel like it's almost a weakness that I have to keep doing it. Over. And Over. And over. Face down.
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